Charles Cornwallah The Raj Chronicles Get a copy

A Diwali gift for ages 8–12

Two petty gods. Twin boys. One very itchy Empire.

The Itchy Empire is a laugh-out-loud illustrated adventure set in 1922 India. Twelve-year-old twins Kavan and Kuber accidentally end up sharing their heads with two very minor gods: one obsessed with paperwork, one obsessed with snacks. Indian mythology, Raj-era satire and a mystery, told in a voice written to make kids laugh.

Buy the India paperback · ₹399 Kindle & other countries

Book 1 of The Raj Chronicles, a planned ten-book series.

Cover of The Itchy Empire, the first book of The Raj Chronicles, by Charles Cornwallah. Twin boys in school blazers, one in round spectacles clutching a book, the other grinning with a samosa, sit either side of a cracking brass pot as two tiny spirits, one glowing blue and one glowing orange, burst out of it. A headmaster with a monocle watches from a colonial mansion window.
File 01 · The case for gifting

Why it makes a thoughtful Diwali gift

A present that gets read after the sweets run out.

Mythology, served with laughs

Gods, karma and ancient artefacts, told the way kids tell stories to each other: fast, cheeky and full of snacks.

Real history, sneakily

It's set in 1922, under the British Raj. Expect questions at dinner about Swadeshi, the Raj and why Maa refuses to buy British sugar.

Illustrated and easy to keep reading

Short chapters with titles like “New Powers, Who Dis?” and pictures throughout. Good for confident readers and reluctant ones.

A family on every page

Baba, Maa, an all-knowing Dadi and a revolutionary uncle. Easy to read aloud together, grandparents included.

Full disclosure: it isn't a Diwali story. It's simply a very good thing to unwrap.

File 02 · Case summary

The story

INDIA, 1922. SAME OLD BRITISH RAJ. SAME OLD BORING LIFE. OR SO THEY THOUGHT.

Twelve-year-old twins Kavan and Kuber are dealing with the usual nightmares: strict parents, cranky teachers, maths homework, and the British Empire.

Then their revolutionary uncle accidentally breaks an ancient pot. Now Kavan has a tiny blue god living in his head, Kuber has an orange god with a serious snack problem, and a British Governor is hunting for mysterious objects that could change everything.

With a headmaster hiding a machine that can suck spirits out of children, and a grandmother who definitely knows more than she's saying, the twins must survive 1922, one prank, one samosa and one headache at a time.

BECAUSE IN THE RAJ, EVEN GODS HAVE HOMEWORK.

Ages
8–12 (middle grade)
Setting
Dhoompur, British India, 1922
Format
Illustrated, 28 short chapters
Series
The Raj Chronicles, Book 1 of 10
For fans of
Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Treasure Hunters, mythology with a twist

From the contents page

  1. How to Accidentally Download a God
  2. New Powers, Who Dis?
  3. Maa's 'Special' Cake
  4. Dadi Knows Everything
  5. The Garden Party of Doom
  6. Release the Cows!
Exhibit A · Inside the book

Packed with pictures

A few scenes from inside the book. They're coloured here for the web; the printed book's illustrations are black and white.

Dadi's chappal drawn as a guided missile system: range infinite, target useless grandchildren.
Dadi's guided missile system
Dadi blocks the stairs with her walking stick while the twins try to sneak past. Caption: You shall not pass.
You shall not pass
Schoolboys file through the gates of St George's Academy under a sign reading Abandon hope (and fun) all ye who enter.
Current mood: jail
The twins hide under a tiger-skin rug, one holding his nose. Caption: Stealth level: please don't sneeze.
Please don't sneeze
File 03 · Persons of interest

Meet the household

Plus two spirits who are absolutely not pulling their weight.

Twin · narrator

Kavan

Round spectacles, neat parting, professional overthinker.

Guys… this is a bad idea.
Twin

Kuber

Messy hair, no fear, permanently hungry.

Relax, Kav.
Spirit · lives in Kavan's head

Shani-Lite

God of Minor Inconveniences, Bureaucracy and Correcting Your Posture.

Incorrect.
Spirit · lives in Kuber's stomach

Udara

God of Burps, Breezes and Gastronomic Chaos.

Needs more spice!
Mother · “Silent Rebel”

Maa

Polite housewife to the world. CEO of the local resistance at home. Bakes with jaggery, on principle.

Grandmother

Dadi

Has The Stare. Knows far more than she's saying.

Uncle · revolutionary

Vicky Chacha

Broke the ancient pot. Would like everyone to stop bringing it up.

Father

Baba

A great believer in British administrative efficiency, and in fountain pens.

File 04 · Requisition form

Get your copy

Printed in India for Diwali Paperback · India only

₹399, free delivery anywhere in India

The paperback is printed in India, so readers here can get it straight from the author instead of paying for an import. Order by 31 October and your copy is dispatched by 3 November, in time for Diwali on 8 November.

  1. Tap Reserve a copy and tell us how many copies you'd like.
  2. We reply with a secure payment link (UPI or card, run by Stripe).
  3. Add your delivery address. We email you when your parcel is on its way.
Reserve a copy · ₹399 Or reserve by email

Free delivery within India. Need it for a school or a group order? Email charlescornwallah@gmail.com. See delivery and refunds.

Kindle, and paperbacks outside India

The ebook is on Amazon in every store below and is included with Kindle Unlimited if you subscribe. Paperbacks outside India are on Amazon too.

File 05 · The author

Charles Cornwallah

Some names carry history. Some borrow from it. A few hide in it.

Charles Cornwallah is a pen name, borrowed from a man who once arrived in India with ambition and left behind… mixed results. This author prefers building stories to building empires, and believes the best way to understand history is to laugh at it (gently).

He runs on caffeine and curiosity, and answers to two young plot reviewers, also known as his twin sons, who are tough, fair and completely unsparing.

File 06 · How this book was made

AI transparency

The book carries this notice on its copyright page:

Generative AI tools were used in the development and generation of portions of the text and in the creation of the cover and interior illustrations.

All AI-assisted material was produced under the author's creative direction, and selected, reviewed and edited by him. We'd rather you knew before you buy.